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NOT LIKE HIM

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(3 thought/insights | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

[09 Dec 2002|02:13am]
Hey. Life is good, this weekend was fine. I feel so stable and unemotional as of late minus that small stint on saturday night. I swear it must be my new healthier eating habits. I too have been sleeping a little more. Many fun things have happened this weekend. I went to the beach with Leslie, Matt, other Matt and Runion. Great people. We tried starting a fire in vain but instead took to adopting an abandoned one. We walked aimlessly, discovered a 24/7 eatery called Jazzy something,,,. Vietnamese waitress that had the funniest argument with Runion. Today my Dad called. We had dinner together, I completely forgot he was going to stop by today. It was a surprise. Chuck burger.... yum? When I arrived back home I took a walk with Leslie around the lake. Problem there are two lakes that are conjoined twins besides a bisecting golf course. We forced ourselves instead of taking the long walk around to go through the dark long course. We lived. This very night I took a quik grocery spree with Melissa and Jenz. I bought many cool surprises for me. Uhhhh Im pooh, buying things for myself during the holidays. Tis the season for giving. -I love you- especially that hotty on the bus who was giving me the looksie while I was hanging out with Dad. . . bad timing.

-Pillowboy-

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

[06 Dec 2002|02:31pm]
Hi, I just finished my registration. I'm very excite beccause if it all goes well I wont have class till 10:00 on Monday and Wednesday, and not till 12:35 on tuesday and thursday. A small problem, I will be in class til 9:45 at night on Thursdays, clubbing confliction. Yesterday was one of the best dance parties of all time. Darrin and Mickey were dressed as pirates, I was an elektrogoth in a techno skirt and Leslie was 80's MILF. We all looked hot as hell and we proved it. Great dancing. On our drive home Darrin rode in the trunk because there were eight people in some fourdoor sedan. It was trey bien. The only thing that could make life better would be vegan nachos mmmmmmnnm. Im talking with Brandon right now, my room-mate. Hes way cool we are discussing racial tension, and then how girls prefer guys with accents. We always have damn good conversation.

Im doing good, Love you -pillowboy-

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

[03 Dec 2002|11:09pm]
HI I JUST WENT FOR A WALK TODAY WITH DARRIN GOODNESS. THAT WAS GOOD, ITS GOOD TO MOVE AROUND THAT WAY YOUR MUSCLES DONT ATROPHY. I WAS WATCHING THE OSBOURNES WITH LESLIE AS OF A SECOND AGO. ITS IRONIC I'VE CONCLUDED. PEOPLE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH REALITY TV, IT'S REALITY. I THINK PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH TV THAT IS MORE LIKE REAL LIFE. FOR EXAMPLE FRIENDS, SEINFELD, COSBYS, CHEERS, THESE WERE JUST COMEDY IN MUNDANE LIFE. NOW THE REAL WORLD AND OTHER REALITY SHOWS, ARE GETTING "CLOSER" TO REAL LIFE. I GET COMPLETELY SUCKED INTO THE TV. BUT IF WE ARE ABSORBED WITH OTHER PEOPLES REAL LIVES, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST LIVE OUR OWN. TODAY I WENT ON A THRIFT ADVENTURE WITH LESLIE. GOD THAT GIRL IS LIKE MY IDOL; NO BUT I DEFINITELY DO ADMIRE HER. WALKED AROUND, CAME UP WITH SOME GOOD IDEAS- GOT A HEAD START ON X-MAS. VEGAN NACHOS ARE THE GREATEST EVER! DARRIN GOODNESS AND I HAVE DISCUSSED THEIR MASS APPEAL AND AGREE THAT VEGAN NACHOS ARE GOOD TO THE CORE.

I LOVE YOU -pillowboy-

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

hi [02 Dec 2002|10:23pm]
Hi, im becoming increasingly shy. Today was the wierdest ever, it was like seventh grade all over again. However as a side effect of being a different person I'm very productive. I get books, I do my work, I look for x-mas gifts ahead of time and eat healthy. If only the two of me could become one. Damn vacation it screwed me up.

This pillow loves you all as well*

(2 thought/insights | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

bebe got back. . . at 3:30pm [02 Dec 2002|12:29am]
I'm home and I do not mean Westlake Village. It donned on me that this place is more home than anywhere else right now. I got here around 3:30 or so. Pretty early. I however was so not productive and unhealthy. I just tried on a few outfits, masterbated twice, listened to music and made a meal of a bag of kettle korn and a pop tart pack. God what a trash ass nightmare. I however talked myself out of that and miraculously recovered. I plucked my eyebrows and then started an outline for my paper and then typed a good 2.5 pages. What a recovery. Im like a cancer victim that lost their leg and then went and won the f@%6**! olympics. Now I'm writing in journal and hopefully going to sleep. Oh I dreadfully want to be balanced. Oh I'm english now, news to me.... Cheerio. I had an awesome dream when I was at home! I dreamt I was atop a wooden box room three stories in the air. It was propped up like a bird-house. In side there were persian pillows and a low table. Inside was myself and some other man. Outside there was an audience looking in; they were seated upon green lawns. Inside it was like a stage- a theatre room in a way. We were acting- acting like we were in love- but I had the conscious thought that; I'm acting like I'm in love but I really am when the lights go down. Interesting huh? Sigmund freud anylze that. I am really excited to see everyone at lunch tomorrow, and to listen to all my new music. I also have an insatiable craving to create something- maybe an X-mas gift or something- why not kill all those birds with a stone ... yeah!

Love you -pillow-

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

today is the biggest shopping day of the year [29 Nov 2002|06:20pm]
So yesterday was T-day, lazy as hell. Oh I hung out in the airport from like 2:30 to 6:oo or so. I went to the port with Leslie and Jeff and just made a day of it. That was cool; I ate a healthy snack of cupped oatmeal and banana and read magazines. I really liked kelly osbourn on teen seventeen mag. I wrote a little and actually flew four hours later. On the plane I met a real cool Dike girl known as Mendoza. She was drunk and interesting. I exited the plane and it was so not like the movies. I mean aren;t you suppose to exit right into the building where people hold signs with your name on it. We exited outside into the wind and had to walk back into the airport. The friendly familial smiles with signs were not found. I had to call my sister to find out where the hell girl friend was. We made it to Westlake Village. It had charm I never saw before. I immediately made plans to walk our dog and stop at Starbucks. Have yet to do that though. I ran out of the car before my sister could even stop the car. I ran to the door where Mommy stared at me warmly. She was about to hug me but I ducked and ran to my brother. Oh twin. Wahh wa hh wha whhwhawh Oh how I missed you, I love you so. I cried immediately upon embracing him. Oh dribbledy sappy twin shit. Its so cliche. We all went to Marie Calendars, this was expected but an upgrade from COCOs. I hate that place- worked there like three months. That night I went for a 1:00 night walk with Ryan twin and got back at 3:30 or so. ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZ I slept. I awoke. Oh it's 12:00 or so. I'm lazy, so much infact I did nothing till Turkey time. Thanksgiving is so incredibly awkward. Let me just say there are people who's names I don't know. We see each other every year and we are completely mortified of one anothers existence. I just eat turkey and look timidly at the strangers called friends and family. Blah ah hbl b b la blah turkey, pie so much so fast, I could continue but people would be scared If i ate more. I find I'm so annoyed at my family- my sister especially. Oh god she keeps talking like a bebe, make her shut the hell up. Im turning into my mother being so snappy that it hurts. Danielle shut up, what the F are you doing I repeat. God she is 9 years older than I.
I love her, don't get me wrong. I just like her not her alter ego a four year old cutie pie named Tutie. So I bought something today clothes at the Good will. I bought stuff even though the magazine addbusters so inspired me not to be an over-consumer. Today is supposedly buy nothing day the magazine informs. I don't know what else. Home is an eye opening experience. It is abrassive and unnatural even though we all genuinely care for one another. We are all just too different. Poo. I didn't even mention I took a hike in the rain into the hills by my house. I got lost a little and couldn't break back into society. I jumped into a gated community and was scared the cops would be called to take away the sopping rabid asian youth. I love you

-Pillow boy-
Im going to change my name(please put all suggestions into the box)

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

. . .. ... . . ............... [26 Nov 2002|11:37pm]
Tomorrow im going to Westlake, tis all I can think of. Nothing else really matters as much as seeing my brother. I plan on going to the library and getting a good book. I can't wait for the airport. It will no doubt be busy- not at all the peaceful one I remember hanging out in. Oh .

-P-

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

that feeling [26 Nov 2002|01:57am]
 this is a square shape- i hit this on accident, its a strange thing one can get from a button. Do you remember that feeling one can get the day before school? When you're so excited all you can do is replay the events prior to this event in your head, and the future ones you expect. I have been trying to sleep for like three or more hours. I've choked the chicken, I've tried to talk with people- nothing works. When I was staying at the hotel by the airport with my parents before moving into college- it was the same. The point of excitement to sleepless euphoria. I am having this feeling right now. However I am so excited to go home. How can I be like this about something so mundane, a place I tried to escape my whole life. Im very excited to see my brother even though I won't be seeing him alot. Im excited to walk peppy down those quiet streets I had thought so lifeless, thought pointless. You know what? This feeling always marks a change, returning somewhere like school- returning better and different. You know you are doing good when you continue to experience this feeling through out your life. Oh godff. So unbelievably sentimental- I am I confess. I really want to sit at the airport and read; I don't know it's just so picturesque. It's as picturesque as something like a wedding or such. Im so fucked up, no sleep. I will be meeting the delightful Jen for breakfast in less than five hours, woo hoo.

I love each and every one of you -pillowboy-

I have this notion to get a job and live a tight budget and to go somewhere with the money. Where should I work? Preferably somewhere that lets you dress however and pays lots for little skills.

(3 thought/insights | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

long time no talk [24 Nov 2002|10:50pm]
Sorry I've not written in a while. It's not as though I've been lying about enjoying myself though. I've been in Utah. Ive finally escaped the roller coaster- the train if you will that are barbituates. I thoroughly found Utah peaceful and refreshing. I knew I was well when I saw a baby duck in the pond in the rain swim safely about for the first time. I says to myself. . ."I am that Duck." And I know I will survive the rain in my life. Thankyou so much Eve, you know what for. I am eternaly indebted to you for being true when no one else was. Oh except Darrin and Leslie and Laury and my dogs. I should've used a comma in there. Oh, I confess I've been in town for actully the whole weekend but I was acclimating. Like the duck to water. God i am so like that Duck. So get into the groove, Pillow. I had an enchanting picnic with Darrin Amore, Phillip and Chakra. It was a strikingly modern meal- soley comprised of trader joes packaged goods. I said grace, it was quite thoughtful;" thankyou joe the trader, I love what you do...Love Pillow." We were seated under Burns, a statue of an old poet. I quipped we should call ourselves, "The Dead Poets Society," I chortled a bit but was struck in the face with Darrin's shit stained grasshoppers. Then we went to the aquarium. Actually there were non aquatic things aswell- I suppose it was a zoo- no there were fossils too, no dead things were once animals. So the zoo was lovely. I listened to what you call Techno "te-tch-no'" something a young soul introduced to me in Utah. Quite good, when you are watching the baby penguins dive in the water. The babies were just learning to swim and it was highly interactive of them to smash their heads into the glass with the Drum n Bass. Oh. I forgot what else. I woke up and Danielle Dear, you know my sister called. Something something breakfast at 10:30 blah blah remember you addict. I quickly dressed and went to breakfast- what a pleasant surprise. Danielle and her friends were highly attentive to me and worried. The short one bought me a sandwich and the waif offered me a cookie. My sister was quite the SugarMomma giving me a little nose candy money. Thanx, smiles. I love everyone and everything. Now I am becoming sleepy, dratz some speed would keep me going for a good 72 hours. Glad to kick the E. I was a mess. I would be stumbling about this hour with my, " E we live for this stuff," collectors tee. Ahhh well Ill report back tomorrow.

Love Pillow

By the way whom ever shat on my bed is a complete idiot. Leslie I know it was you. You big haired Cunt.

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

[17 Nov 2002|10:25pm]
Ive been practicing guitar lateley; been kinda productive. Wrote a few licks or so nothing more. Playing ouija, nothing really learned or found interesting. Prophecized that I would not be in succesful band- supose that means flying solo. Got a whole lot of new CDs thats so exciting music matters. Music is a constant, a constant comfort when everything is not.

I love you all, so brief sorry -pillowboy-

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

A list to prove sanity [12 Nov 2002|04:16am]
Umm. .. it's so like four something in the morning; I am like crazy or something. I will be in fashion analysis at eight as usual. Life has been unstructured and as messy as my emotional self lately. Heres a list that I can check for tomorrow and for you to enjoy.

1Fashion Analysis
2Talk to Alex(about my sensitive bitch issues)
3Get some sleep
4follow a nutritious way eating
5Call that cool girl- Sailor
6study for fashion test on Thursday
7Possibly go on Darin's adventure
8Invite someone to eat lunch in the future
9Get books for my persuasive speech project
10decide what the hell I'll speel about
11trip? is it on?
12talk to carisa, my emotional mess counterpart
13relax dont be such a fuckin freak

Love you all- even in the early morning -pillowboy-

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

SO mucH [10 Nov 2002|04:16pm]
Yesterday I went to Jazmine's DJ event. It was really the Gay Shame dance part in disguise.

Before getting to this point I awoke up before the Dining Center opened. I fussed around quietly- careful not to awake Leslie Slokavich my weekend roommate. Found something to wear and went to eat. When I came back Leslie vanished and I played guitar. Did some homework; no not really. Just did some yoga etc. Made plans to go to buena vista; which was a ploy to go to a pet store. Alright. Put on white eye shadow under my eyes- "wow Im a fuckin robot," I said to the mirror. went on several buses and walked many streets. When we actually arrived at the pet store it was a veterinarian or something of the sort. We walked from the mission to the Castro. We had dinner at a Mexican grill; it was pretty good. We ate in front of the window outlooking into the eyes of twinkbutthunters. Darrin was right there looking out eating, like it was a movie or dinner theater. I had to fix my hair several times yesterday..... Hmmmf. I did cut my hair; or I should say Darrin did a fabu job. Fabu, I actually have bangs- can't decide if I look Ladytron or If I look like Dum and Dummer. As If I hadn't had enough fun we came to the doorms 8:30 had an hour and a half to change and GO to the partay. We arrived, leslie looked way fashion forward; which totally fit. It was a really artsy crowd. We came in upon a theatrical performance of a sort. I don't know; it involved stripping lesbians on stilts- one of which was wearing leather and a wheel. There was a prize give away which included a refurbished bike and dildos. Danced..... then danced. I felt free with these people; anything I could do that was unnormal would've been seen as creativity. So I danced weird as usual. There were some cute guys, but I had this feeling they were all crack sluts anyway. My favorite part of the night besides Darrin getting careening head first into a piss stained mattress, while getting humped by the lovely Jazzman; was after the party. It was freezing cold and we went at first to look for a Denny's. I guess we sobered up from those intoxicating endorphins cuz someone piped up; "thats over five miles from here." So we went to 711 which was all of two blocks. What a magical place, I mean a place to get your grub on 24/7. Had a lot of sugar but Im OK, Im just fine. We came back to the party house- realizing we had 4 hours or so in the freezing cold- if we waited for the bart. Didn't really sleep til 10:00 this morning. It was all so good. THANKYOU

LOVE YOU ALL, -pillowboy-

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

So far [06 Nov 2002|11:31pm]
Hi im currently writing from the lounge in mary park-actually the nearby computer lab. Today I walked to West Portal after my classes. That was about a two and a half mile distance. It felt good; I mean what other physical activity am I gonna do. I love feeling independent; I love to feel calm and carefree. I hate solidarity. Every moment Im alone without some major work or distraction I find myself quickly becoming sad or apathetic. I hate that- don't be such a fucking blade in the wind, don't just fall over. I am after all not going home; not this weekend, it's all good. I just ate trail mix with m&ms and a bag of rolled gold- musn't eat so late at night lest I become fat. I played guitar for over an hour- saw the video for Ladytron, inspirational. I don't know what to say really, I want to go back and hang a bit with Leslie and Darrin.

Love you all -pillowboy-

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

little to say [05 Nov 2002|10:54am]
Yesterday I walked to Borders again and listened to music for about two or so hours. I discovered such good things. Thats the problem with me I like beauty in all facets; I want to be apart of it all. I have become increasingly become aware of my limited and dwindling cash. Tori Amos tickets 50.50, Dinner 12.34, thrift spree with Darrin Goodness, PRICELESS. I need a job, I'm way lazy. Been playing guitar; I am going to be a rock-star even if I'm an apathetic log.

LOVE you all


-PILLOWBOY-

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

good morning : ) [04 Nov 2002|06:32am]
[ mood | strange, tired awake, horny ]

GOOD MORNING, it is 6:30 or so in the morning and I have just woken up from a three hour sleep cycle. It's true three hours makes one feel beter than four. I know that doesn't make sense- our sleep cycles occur in three hour periods so I made a cycle, it's better. Yesterday was a good day. I'm so sick of just lounging around; I just want to get up and go somewhere or do something- not homework- I never have enough enthusiasm for that bull-shit. Yesterday I up and walked to Border's Book Store; It's true what Darrin says, "Things that aren't special are the best." Borders of course is generic but commercial and comforting in the independent SF area. Fred Meyers is the best. So I walked there and listened to some music and walked back to meet Darrin at 4:15. We were off to the Castro for a Gay Shame Protest. Gay Shame is a group of the Gays; who are disatisfied with- the way gays are portrayed in the media, hate crime, GLBT issues, and everything. We did a small march carrying signs of Qwen Arujo and Jihad- Jihad sounds like holy war. We were instructed to shake our noise makers- I know, I was like what does that mean; not that kinda volunteer work again!- then some like guy gives us like beans in a palmolive bottle. When I shook the noise maker I could only imagine how much it looked like an air hand job- we're talking extreme mime here. So we were told to make even more noise so I barked like a chihuahua- did I mention we were carrying flaming torches through the streets. It was insane. The leader was a Traci Chapman of a man; who would take his megaphone and boo like a mechanical haloween gimick. It was honestly a hilarious thing; a good cause lost to tastelessness, tactless. I got a natural high from the yelling- yay for animalism. Gay Shame was the most fashion forward, interesting looking group ever- they were fabulous. Some cute guys too- theres always something wrong however; relationships are like thrift store finds something's fucked, be it a snag or over embellishment. The people there were way angry and scary in there unapologetic way; the guys were a new breed of gay- a strange encounter to the dar; must update system. After that rousing experience we went to Jazmines' friend's house. At Whitney's we watched episodes of QAF( Queer AS FuCK)- super gay day. Came home late. There is talk that possibly Friday I may be making a guest appearance in LA- hope it works out.

LOve you all -Pilowboy-

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

Halloween [02 Nov 2002|09:52pm]
Hey, it's already saturday; I guess I've been too party'ed out do write. Halloween was an awesome experience, it had everything. I wore a corsette, black angel wings and horns; under my corset I had a white dress shirt. It sounds goofy; but think more chic. I did my makeup heavy liner with cat ends and a dot of glitter at my cornea. I overspent completely- wings, corsette, horns. I however really liked my costume this year; every year before has always been so so. After the fussing process we made it toward Castro. It was the end of the world. There was a boy at the crowded station who was pantsing himself and wanking the doodle at passing cars. Cars honked at the costumed masses- all from our school. The crowd cheered the wild exhibitionist and we were then headed on the muni M line. To the Castro we made our pagan pilgramage. It was butts to nuts crowded in there. The windows steemed with the sweating of our bodies; children scrawled help me on the steamy windows. I actually had my ass near falling into this girls lap. There was no room. Ricky,a psycho dinosaur crowd surfed and then proceeded to nose dive into the dirty muni floor. The ganja filled the moist sweltering air. "Get me out of here; no seriously were like stuck, like were gonna die under ground, ughhhh," I freaked. Well I cannot even describe the surreal nature and horror of the bus. We exited on Castro, only to be dumped into a crowd of 300,000 people. If there was ever a time for biological warfare that was the place. Crazy night-didn't see but by friends accounts- stabbings, people having anal sex in the middle of the road, end of the world. The crowd was over powering; I was a nameless face being pushed like a prisoner by the pushers and shovers. We left to Pop Scenes because it was too much. Pop Scenes was so great because it was halloween- I actually had room to dance. Violent crazy dramatic dancing on Halloween. That night we came back like war victims. Beaten up, older, out of the wood work like Michael Jackson's Thriller Zombies. Happy happy Halloween.

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

[30 Oct 2002|01:05am]
Today was not memorable for some reason. I hung out with this girl Lauryn, whom I had met at the Club Pop Scenes. She seems way nice and cool; I don't know, It's hard to get a sense off a person when your walls are so high. My defenses were up all day until come eight or so. I got 5 or so hours two days in a row so Im a little sleepy. It's good to be sleepy your walls fall down and it's a lot easier. I can talk to people when Im near falling over, I guess. Got Halloween costume. Tori Amos does drugs; I don't know If she's my heroe so much anymore. I just talked to this guy who'm I had given my number to, about three weeks ago or so. He never called; but both times I've talked to him I've actually had some good conversations. He isn't that great but companionship is a human function completely not being filled right now. When I talked to him I got way nervous, why? I don't know why; he isn't as cute as I remember him being. He is more efeminate, has large ears, mild acne and makes good conversation. Whatever.

GOODnight Love Pillowboy

(2 thought/insights | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

in the cafe [28 Oct 2002|05:00pm]
Hi pillowboy here, Im eating for like the fifth time today. Non-stop fun; the cold weather or something has a psychological effect upon me and I just keep on salivating all day long and eating all day. The point of fullness is quite hard to reach, I feel food raunchy. Its all empty and it's all cloudy. I feel snug comfortable now, outside it's really pricking cold. My room-mate and his girlfriend were snuggling in their bed. I know it's sweet and I'd probably wan't to do the same. Snuggling, that stuff is so private; every time I walk into my own room I feel intrusive. I think I'd feel better walking in on them having let's say sex if they do; than walking in on the endless spoonage. It's cold, cloudy, theres a hot guy walking around in the cafe; he's wearing some raver bracelets. I don't know

Later, Love pillowboy

(tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

now i am . . . . [28 Oct 2002|12:42am]
[ mood | wahhhh ]

Today I read a book entitled, "Democracy for the Few," It made me totally depressed. If you've read any of my other journals you're proably realizing a trend here. My class introduction into world affairs is eye opening but majorly depressing. The book just got me picking away at everything, life just seemed like such a rasp of what it's supposed to be. With everything going on, impending war etc. We are starved of our primary components, and it seems in this structured world we are looking for the pieces. Like looking for bits of useful garbage we are reclaiming the past, reclaiming happines. I don't know its sad how something like that can totally throw you off track. It's my fault too, I've been perpetuating the negativity. I refused to say HI to people today. I'm sick of all the half smirked smiles, more so of fear than of genuine friendship. On my floor Im such a wonder fag, I swear people want to be my friend just cuz I'm gay or something. Will they understand when they realize Im more than a smiling single FAG. Im synical, mean, shy, fucking emotional mess sometimes. Im sick of all the fakeness, dsjkfj;asfadfajdf. Missed some people today, they were off elswhere. Sorry for this EMO, crap, patch, anilingus, hot lunch munching, downtrodden, waste of space, ferocious vag monster, poo font, beef streugenaf, borshk, mother bleeping, bastard, hot noodle pesto. piece of crap, felatiemon, poon tang, rim job, snorkle, cream corn, ram blaster, hamster, crap crock of shit; I have subjected you to. Still Love you all

Love Pillowboy

(1 thought/insight | tear me apart you merciless bitchmen!)

24 hour party person [27 Oct 2002|01:27am]
[ mood | ecstatic/ hyper-active ]

I came from class at 2;00 on friday and thats when the fun started. I watched "Truth or Dare," the Madonna documentary from the early nineties. Jen and I popped kettle korn, Madonna and Kettle Korn is a full fledged partay. At the point of being fed up with the movie, I met up with Southern California friends; Holly, Anni and Moana. I showed them the dorms, and they got ready in our fine bathrooms. I swear they seemed near homeless; having driven in a car for nine hours straight. I also had my homeless simulation fun for the weekend. We went looking for Herbivore on Valencia St.; we did locate it however parking was a real bitch. So we ended up leaving after what was literally an hour's search or more. We ate instead at In-and-Out in Marin. I&O, is so good when you're in the mood for it. After the meat feast we wen't to Holly's brother's house, instead we stopped at his girlfriend's and jumped from here to a bar. The bar was the biggest frat trash dump ever, it was hopwever enjoyable. I watched people gulp keggers and proceded to sing oldies; example my girl and stuff from grease. I'm proud of myself, I signed up and sang two karaoke songs. Number one I sang, "Tainted Love," by Soft Cell. My singing sucked, I couldn't hear myself; I suppose one would need a professional ear set. (ex. see Madonna) Next Anni and I performed, "I will Survive," what a gay song. I swear I was the only gay man in the whole place. And I felt like such a flame, that is amongst the mere embers. No, I was wearing black capri like pants and singing along with Madonna's, "Material Girl." Anyone would seem gay to this crowd, the testosterone was out of control; Go Giants! So that was that night, aside from watching the VH1 count down. God, the New No Doubt video; what a fashion inspiration, It really should be Gwen and Her Endless Closet. The following morn, I awoke; literally just brushed my teeth and wen't out the door. We arrived at Black and Blue Tatoo at near twelve or so. I watched as all three of them got tatoos. Holly got a tatoo on her middle finger, its the sign for gemini. How rad would that be when she flicks someone off; they'll know not to mess with that little Gemini. After that we did make it to the Herbivore; the rumors are true, it, it's like butter. I had some of everyone's food and my own. Here's a quick at a glance taste- I had green salad with tahini dressing/ balsamic vinagrette, pad thai, lentil soup, peanut butter cookie, pesto toast and some stir fryesque tofu. Que bella. Afterward I quenched my shopping craving at the nearby Thrift store. Two items. Here upon we left to go see Ani Difranco. Before the concert we got ready in the Taco Bell bathroom; it was so disgusting. This was part of the Homeless experience though. At Ani I saw Tori Newburn, a southern friend. I had recognized her immediately from her joyous skip across the busy street. Ani was good, a lot of the seats near front were empty. I kept trying to be a squatter but the flashlight popo always kicked me out, total times, three. Ani was excellent. It occured to me what a language she had created, completely her own. I notice all true artists seek to create their own cultures. Ani has created her own culture; Ani speech, Ani style, Ani music, Ani politics all things Ani. I recognize my greatests musical artists all have that stark original quality to them. I would like to start to creat my culture, especially my music. After the concert, they promptly dropped me off where I had met them. I miss them, Holly made work so much fun; and they are all pretty great. I walked in my room having felt like a dizzy returning Dorothy or something. At which point I really had to see Eve.

Thankyou so much Holly, Anni & Moana. I feel guilty for all the fun; goodnight eveyone LOVE YOU.

Night Journal, HEART pillowboy

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